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Media Training 27: Body Language

By Gerard Braud

www.braudcommunications.com

What you don’t say is often as important or more important than what you do say, when you are talking to a reporter. How you stand, how you act, how you fidget, how you move, how you stutter, how you sit, and where you look, all says a lot about you.

The easiest thing for a reporter to determine in an interview is that you are nervous. When I started my journalism career at the age of 20, I was five-feet-six-and-a-half-inches tall and 124 pounds soaking wet. I did not consider myself intimidating in the least. So why is it that learned people, such as doctors, lawyers, engineers and elected officials got so nervous? Why did they fidget so much? Why did the sweat on their brow line and on their upper lip?

Actions such as sweating are harder to control because they are a result of nervousness. However, if you follow all of the advise in this book, if you hire a good media training coach and if you practice on a regular basis, then your confidence will go up and your nervousness will go down.

Folding and crossing your arms across your chest in an interview is almost always a sign that you are hiding something. If you are crossing your arms because you are cold, a better alternative is to wear warmer clothing. Sales people have long known that a customer with crossed arms will not buy anything form you. In the world of journalism, crossed arms means you are closed off to the premise of the reporter’s question and that you likely are not going to volunteer any information. Your body language may cause the reporter to probe even deeper because they can tell you are trying to hide something. If you are on television, the audience at home will also see this body language and may judge you harshly or relish in your discomfort. Many at home will sense that the reporter has “gotcha.”

Your eyes are the proverbial window to your soul.  I suggest that in daily life you get in the habit of looking people directly in the eye and maintaining an appropriate level of honest eye contact. Traditionally we’re taught that looking someone in the eye is a sign of honestly. Conversely, someone with high anxiety caused by not telling the truth usually has difficulty looking another person in the eye. You’ve likely heard people called “shifty-eyed.” When your eyes shift from side to side it is an obvious sign of anxiety, discomfort, and begins to make the journalist think that you have something to hide. Behavior like this is a perfect example of why role playing with a video camera is so important during media training. You may shift your eyes all the time and never realize it until you see yourself on camera. Reviewing your interview on camera lets you observe the behavior, then lets you work to correct the behavior.

Whether you look up or down and whether you look left or right also says a lot about you and what you are verbalizing, including whether you are “making it up” as you go.

If a right handed person looks up to the right while answering a question, they are generally being creative in crafting their answer and it may be perceived as a lie. If that same right handed person looks up and to their left when answering your question, it is generally perceived that they are recalling actual facts and telling the truth. Looking up is generally associated with questions about things that actually happened, things you saw or people you know.

Looking to the side has some of the same perceptions and generally applies to questions about sounds and things you have heard. Looking down to the left and right is a great deal less about telling a lie and more about feelings and recalling things such as a smell, touch or taste.

A left handed person performs these acts in the opposite direction of a right handed person. One of the classic case studies is former President Bill Clinton, who is left handed. As he made his infamous statement, “I did not have sex with that woman, Miss Lewinsky,” he looked up and to the left, an indication that this lefty was a liar.

Other body language for lying includes touching your face, the tip of your nose, rubbing your eyes and covering your mouth. Essentially, these are all telltale signs that you are trying to hide something and hide, perhaps, behind your hand. Covering your mouth, for example, subtly says you don’t want me to see you tell a lie.

How you sit tells us a lot as well. As a rule, never sit in a chair that rocks and swivels. If you do, when you become nervous or uncomfortable, you will likely rock or swivel.

Never do an interview while sitting behind your desk. This is usually a place that is too comfortable and very intimate to you. As a result, you may speak perhaps too bluntly and openly because this is your comfort zone. You need to be honest, but being behind your desk may cause you to let your guard down. Instead of sitting behind your desk, pick two chairs in front of your desk.

Your posture while sitting says a lot. If you cup your hands behind your head, as well as if you lean back while doing this, it indicates that you perhaps feel superior to the person interviewing you. Akin to this, slouching in a chair during an interview could be an indication that you are cavalier, arrogant or feel superior to the interviewer. Many people who are described as “cocky” sit slouched or leaned back in their chairs. During my days on television, we affectionately called these people “cigar smokers” because they looked like the fat-cat, cigar smoking corporate executive made infamous in the black and white movies of the 1940s.

The position of your legs while you sit also says a lot. Women and men tend to have different sitting postures. Women who have been through some degree of etiquette training have been taught to place their feet on the floor and to cross one ankle behind the other. This is always a polished looked. Most women, when crossing their legs cross at the knee. The most common way women cross their legs might be called a scissors cross or inverted V cross, with the left foot pointed right and the right leg pointed left. From the knee, a woman’s feet spread like an inverted letter V. This cross is also generally accepted, but when nervous, most women begin to twist the ankle of the foot that is suspended above the floor. Some may even swing the suspended portion of the leg from their knee to their foot. The more nervous a woman is, the more the leg takes on the appearance of kicking.

Some women cross their legs at the knee, then wrap the upper foot behind their calf. This is a certain sign of being timid, embarrassed or lacking self-confidence. This is never an acceptable posture.

Somewhere between the ankle cross and the inverted V cross, is when a woman crosses her legs at the knees, but tilts both legs in the same direction. For example, if the upper leg is the right leg with the foot pointed toward the left, then the lower leg, which would be the left leg, would also have the foot to the left. In the world of etiquette, this type of leg cross is thought to be the more acceptable of the two ways women generally cross their legs, although etiquette purists say a woman should never cross her legs.

Also, when crossing their legs, women must also consider whether they are wearing pants or a skirt. If a skirt is worn, then the woman must also determine whether she is sending a message of sex appeal or sexiness. Some actresses and news anchors intentionally wear short skirts and sit in a posture designed to exude sex appeal. In the world of television and entertainment, sex sells and sexiness equals ratings, because most women secretly have a desire to be attractive like the woman on television, while most men are attracted to a woman that is more visually appealing. But while sexy may be right for the television anchor or actress, it is not the right look for a female corporate executive.

For men, sitting styles include feet close to one another on the floor with knees spread slightly, feet on the floor with knees spread wider than the feet, one leg on the floor with the ankle of the other leg placed on the knee, and sitting with knees crossed in the same way as described above as the women’s scissors or inverted V style.

The most offensive of these four male seating types is the legs spread wide open, essentially making his genitals the focal point of his posture. Many athletes tend to sit like this in interviews. While such posture might be fine in the locker room, it never works in an interview. The male sitting with his legs wide open sends a message of overconfidence and high superiority. And while that may intentionally or subliminally be the message the male is trying to send, a reporter or television audience may also interpret it as a sign of ignorance or stupidity.

A man crossing one ankle over his knee, almost in the shape of a number 4, is the most common posture for men and is often acceptable in interviews, but it is not without its problems. The exposed sole of your shoe could prove to be an embarrassment, especially if it turns out that a hole has started to develop on the shoe sole below the ball of your foot. Other times, you may have stepped in gum, which leaves a mark on the shoe sole. There are also multi-cultural considerations when a man sits like this. In many Asian and Muslim cultures, exposing the sole of your shoe is a great insult, so think carefully about your audience before sitting like this.

Men older than 40 tend to be more likely to cross their legs at the knee, in the inverted V style, than younger men. From a body language perspective, many people perceive this seating style to be more feminine, especially in younger men, even to the point of being stereotyped as being homosexual. For younger men, such posture may even be perceived as a sign of weakness. For older men, there is sometimes a degree of maturity or wisdom associated with this type of leg crossing. A key indicator of whether this type of leg crossing has a feminine or masculine appearance depends upon how far out and how high up the raised foot is. The closer the raised foot is to the low leg, the more feminine the appearance. The more raised the foot is in relation to the lower leg, the more masculine the appearance. This more raised approach is really a cross between the number 4 style and the inverted V style. One advantage this has to the pure number 4 style is that it points the shoe sole to the floor, shielding under-shoe blemishes and eliminating cultural insensitivity.

For both men and women, the best posture for sitting is to bring your back slightly away from the back of the chair, which also pushes your posterior slightly forward on the seat of the chair. With your body weight shifted forward, it virtually forces your feet to the floor, rather than having your legs crossed. Once your feet are comfortably on the floor, men generally slide one foot slightly more forward than the other. Women will do the same in some cases, but in most cases will now find it more comfortable to cross one foot behind the other. When attempting this style, you should not be sitting on the edge of the chair, but just slightly away from the back of the chair.

This slightly forward seating posture also makes it more possible for you to talk with your hands during an interview. Talking with your hands, especially with your palms in an upward position, is a sign of openness and honesty. It lets you gesture with palms up to the interviewer when directing outward expressions, while gesturing with palms up toward yourself for personal stories or to demonstrate personal accountability.

Among the things never to do with your hands in an interview is to flail them or pass them in front of your face. You should also avoid crossing your hands on your lap. Flailing is an indication that you are somewhat sporadic and lack focus. Crossing your hands over your lap and genitals indicates weakness for men and women. For men, having their hands crossed over their genitals is a big sign of feeling vulnerable.

Not only is crossing your hands over your genitals an incorrect posture when you are sitting, it is also incorrect when standing. Commonly referred to as the fig leaf position, hands over the genitals for a male, again, is a sign of weakness and vulnerability, as well as weakness for a woman. Many people instinctively cross their hands over their genitals when standing because this is the way they have taken so many group photos from the time they were in grade school. As an adult, it is time for you to learn that this is an old trick used by photographers to get children to stand still and keep their hands to themselves long enough for the photographer to snap the exposure. The trick kept Billy from punching Bobby on the arm while the children were positioned as a group. And from a photo perspective, crossed hands is never good photography.

Also while standing, you should avoid swaying back and forth. This demonstrates the same type of nervousness as swaying or swiveling in a chair. The preferred posture when standing is to have your feet spread slightly or to place your weight on your dominant leg.

Many people are also confused about what to do with their hands during an interview when they are standing. In addition to avoiding the fig leaf position, you should never put your hands in your pockets. Placing your hands on your hips comes naturally for some people, but from a body language perspective it is perceived as a sign of arrogance or superiority. Generally the best default position is to have your hands at your side then raise them between your waist and chest for gesturing. When not gesturing, a good standby position is you have your hands lying one inside the other just above the waist, waiting for the next opportunity to talk with your hands and gesture.

To wrap things up, your words will always be important, but whether the reporter or his audience believes you will depend in part on your body language.

In our next lesson, we’ll answer that age old question, should you speak off the record?

I’ll tell you if you promise not to tell anyone.

Media Training Tip: Don’t Leave The Audience Thinking “What Does That Mean?”

What bugs the ever living daylights out of me is hearing people speak in mumble jumble that they think means something, but it means nothing at all. This mumble jumble is corporate speak, buzzwords, jargon and government acronyms.media training gerard braud

I’m fortunate enough that people pay me an honorarium to speak at numerous conferences, corporate meetings and association meetings every month. I always make a point of listening to what other speakers say so I can incorporate their lessons into my presentation.

But many of the speakers fill their presentations with so many buzz words, jargon and mumble jumble that I find myself sitting in the audience asking, “What does that mean?” The speaker thinks they have said something profound, but they’ve really said nothing at all.

I hear things such as, “If we work in a customer centric capacity to increase productivity and to create a win-win situation for our partners in a collaborative fashion, then we can achieve our goals for the betterment of our strategic partners in the hopes of benefiting those with whom we do business?

What does that mean?

Were you trying to say put customers first?

What is a win-win situation? (With all due respects to Steven Covey…)

What are examples of collaboration?

What are the goals?

Who are the strategic partners?

Please, spell it out. Please give me meaningful examples. Please give me tangible examples. Please give me anecdotes. Please communicate with real words. Please put some emotion into your communications. Please make the communications more visual by describing who and what you are talking about.

Would those words work at career day with a 6th grade class? A friend of mine uses this test: If you said it to your grandparents at Thanksgiving dinner, would they know what you mean?

Let’s touch on one other important point that I find in the politically correct world, especially among non-profit organizations. There is a propensity to say things in a way that will not offend the people that you serve. However, in the process of crafting your statement with sensitivity, you become so ambiguous that no one really knows what you are talking about, including… and sometimes most importantly, even the people they are trying to help. That’s right — the people you are trying to help don’t know what you mean, because the organization is being so sensitive and so politically correct.

If you keep changing the labels and the terminology out of sensitivity, the audience, the reporter and the people you serve will be left asking, “What does that mean?” This could lead to you accusing the reporter of taking you out of context and it affects your bottom line when you use terms that your audience cannot understand because of the politically correct ambiguity.

Consultants and trainers are also guilty of trying to coin clever phrases. A few years ago my wife, who works at a small private school, mailed out the class schedule for the fall semester. Her phone started ringing off the hook because after years of promoting the school’s top notch computer lab, computer classes were no longer listed on the class schedule. She told concerned parents she would check it out and get back to them. As it turns out, someone on the school staff had taken the term computer class off of the schedule and replaced it with the term “information literacy.” Yes, it seems someone had gone to a summer workshop in which the trainer/consultant preached that “it’s so much more than just knowing the mechanics of a computer, the internet and the programs – It’s really about ‘information literacy.’” What does that mean? It’s a dumb term. Call it what it is. It’s computer class.

If you’d like more examples from my “What Does that Mean?” file I have a great PDF that I’d be happy to share with you so you can share with the offenders. It is available as a download at www.braudcasting.com

Call or email me to talk about your media training and crisis communications training needs:

Direct: 985-624-9976

Email: Gerard@BraudCommunications.com

Gerard’s Top 5 Tips for 2009 – Day Two – Can We Talk?

Your executives will be talking more in 2009 and so will your employees. With the economic issues we all face, the media and employees will be asking tough questions… perhaps the toughest your executives have ever been asked. And when times are tough, employee morale can go down and employee talk can turn negative, further hurting the organization’s reputation, image and productivity.

That’s why in the first quarter of 2009, I’d recommend 3 types of training within your organization: Media Training, Presentation Training and Ambassador Training.

We’ll talk about all 3 in a minute, but first let’s look at some typical speaking styles to understand why you need these training programs, even if you’ve done them before.

If we look at the 2008 election cycle, we see 5 dominant spokespeople and see 5 distinct styles that you will likely see in your spokespeople. Look at President Bush, Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Sarah Palin and John McCain… and to understand my point of view, please put your political views aside and just look at their styles.

Bush is the top guy… like many CEOs he’s very knowledgeable, but is a horrible speaker. His inability to communicate well undermines the confidence people have in him. This happens to many CEOs.

Obama has the natural gift of speaking with great rhythm and style, and he has the ability to inspire and motivate. He could read a grocery list and get a standing ovation. Few people have this natural gift.

Joe Biden is the unfiltered speaker. Like many executives, he’s prone to say something stupid at anytime. He is the proverbial loose cannon on deck. Many executives think this is the proper way to be honest. Boy are they wrong.

John McCain is the classic humble spokesperson. He has an incredible story to tell, but refuses to tell it because of humility. His skills as an orator are good, but could be better. Great stories are a part of great communications. Many executives fail to use stories effectively.

Sarah Palin, like many female executives, has a lot of pizzazz and spunk. She, like Obama, has some great natural gifts as a speaker in front of a crowd. But while her spunk and pizzazz are appealing to many, it also rubs many people the wrong way. Female speakers may also face sexist preconceptions and prejudices that male speakers don’t have to deal with.

Chances are in your organization you have people who can’t put 2 words together, people who are naturally gifted, people who are too humble to tell a great story, people who make you cringe because you never know what kind of stupid or inappropriate thing they will say, and people, who while gifted, might rub some people the wrong way.

Media Training, Presentation Training and Ambassador Training can help you conquer the challenges of all 5 of these communications styles.

Media Training is, of course, designed to help with those difficult media interviews. In a time like this, they can help executives communicate honestly and teach them how to handle negative questions.

Presentation Training is needed to help executives communicate challenges in small group meetings, as well as in meetings with large groups of employees. You’ll certainly need these skills if layoffs are in the cards. Regardless of your challenges, regular face-to-face communications with employees provides a high degree of comfort in uncertain times.

Ambassador Training is a program I designed for mid-level managers and ordinary employees, to help them communicate positively, rather than constantly repeating negatives. It combines some of the skill sets you find in both Media Training and Presentation Training, especially the ability to speak positively and answer tough questions honestly, without repeating negatives.

As an example, imagine this: Your company lays of 500 people and an employee wearing your company logo on their shirt is in a grocery store line. Let’s imagine the person in front of them in line sees the logo, has heard the bad news, and says, “Wow, things must be bad where you work?” Most employees would instinctively respond, “Oh, it’s bad and getting worse.” This type of negative response then fuels the continuation of a negative conversation.

Most employee have told me over the years that they do not want to be a part of that negative conversation, but in their awkwardness and embarrassment, they don’t know how to get out of it. The proper way to get out of it is with a positive response. But the fact is, a negative response is easier and it is more in line with human nature.

If we return to that grocery store scene, a positive response might be, “Well, your heart has to go out to the people who have left, but that means the rest of us need to double our effort so we can be profitable and bring them all back.” If an employee said that, what would happen to the conversation in the grocery store? It would either turn positive or end right there. Negative comments are like throwing gasoline on a fire; it makes it more volatile. Positive comments are like a fire extinguisher; they’ll put an end to the negative fire quickly.

As you propose training for 2009, realize many people may be resistant. Some think if they’ve trained once they know it all. But the fact is, media training and presentation training are not skills that a person masters in a single session. It needs to be an annual program with refreshers.

Also realize that some people will be resistant because they fear they will perform poorly or because they are embarrassed to fail either on a personal level or in front of colleagues, during training. Many will even say that they would rather wing it. Your trainer needs to make sure that training is done in a safe environment, that each participant can see some improvement, and that each participant is predisposed to the idea that training is not a one-time event, but should be part of an ongoing program for personal improvement.

A good analogy to make to your participants is to compare it to sports. Every great athletic performer has coaches and every great executive needs personal coaches as well. Likewise, great athletes don’t become great after a single practice; they become great because they practice daily and constantly try to improve.

And on the topic of practice, your participants in Media Training, Presentation Training and Ambassador Training need to be reminded that they must practice their skills in daily conversations in order to master the techniques of speaking positively, keeping information jargon free and simple, and knowing how to respond positively to negative questions.

Finally, in tight economic times, PR budgets get cut quickly. Be ready to make your case that, whether speaking to the media, to a group of employees, or even in informal public situations, the things your executives say can have a direct impact on your profits and the performance of your workforce. The cost of training can be miniscule compared to its financial benefits.

If you or your executives would like to begin the learning process, they can sign up for my 29-day online Media Training program at www.braudcommunications.com Everyday for 29 days you’ll receive a 3-6 minute audio lesson that you can listen to on your computer or i-pod.

If you have questions about how to deal with executives who may be resistant or embarrassed to train, send an e-mail to me or call me via my contact information at www.braudcommunications.com

In our next lesson, we’ll look at the role you need to play as a writer in 2009.